As part of our human existence, we sometimes have days when
our best friends leave us for time and all eternity. I had a couple of those days recently. It’s okay.
I don’t have an abandonment complex or anything… yet. Well, at least not a fully developed
abandonment complex. Don’t worry,
though, my friends are working on it.
They have formed a plan to create an abandonment complex so deep that I
will need YEARS of therapy to recover.
Although I can’t see the entirety of their plan, I’ve already
experienced part of it. Two best friends
have left me within the last month, and several other friends are planning
their upcoming departures (they seem intent on calling these “weddings”).
Really, though, I know what a wedding is all about. It’s when a man and a woman get together and
decide they’re tired of all of their single friends. They decide that they’re SO tired of their single
friends that they’re willing to hang out together all the time for the rest of
FOREVER. I have recently discovered that
I am usually one of the single friends that helps speed that decision
along. So, to all of you happily
married/dating/engaged couples out there, you’re welcome. To all of you unhappily
married/dating/engaged couples, that’s what you get for leaving me. So, if you feel the need to get married,
apparently I’m one of those friends who’s really good at making that
happen. Seriously, people. You can just ask anyone who has ever been
friends with me. They are ALL
married/dating/engaged. I’m practically
a matchmaking service! I should start
charging…
